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Three Right Turns


When going around the block of life, three right turns doesn’t always make a circle. Sometimes we have to trust that God has a plan that we will not always understand. At different points in our life or our spiritual development, we may be blessed with glimpses.

These are just that, glimpses, because in a moment all that exists can be revealed and all that was unclear can be realized.

At each moment we have a choice. Sometimes those choices will not always make sense. We are passengers in life but we are not passive for our will is still our own until it is not so. We can trust in God, or we we can forge our own path. And though we may think our way is better, we may find ourselves at the same end, but on a path far more difficult than it needed to be.

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Unfolding Story


When we look at other people and their standing in the world we often want to know how they got there. We compare ourselves but in doing so we can become envious. We see the part that we admire but what we often miss are the parts we would never want to trade when it comes to our own life.

When I stand back and I look at my life there are clear points that I can remember saying to myself, I am going to do that. I don’t know how I will get there, but I will do that. And sure enough, a path was laid. For that I am blessed.

I tell my son almost every other day, there are things we are each good at. We should never judge how good we are at something or our perceived successes against those of someone else. We don’t know what others have had to do to become who they are, and we shouldn’t neccessarily want to know. We should want to become ourselves. I tell him, don’t try to be me or anyone else. Be the best you. There is a plan for you. I dont know what it is. There is a plan for all of us. We just have to trust and have the patience to fully realize it.

It’s an unfolding story.

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Practice Giving


Giving HandPractice giving. Practice it not for the one who receives but practice it for yourself. Giving is not only an exercise of expressing kindness, but also of humility and trust.

In giving we must learn to trust the intent of those who seek help and even of those who would deny it. The path for all of us is different so in giving do not judge the choices of another. Do not judge the clothes one wears, or the conditions with which one lives. Judge not one’s behaviors, but remember them as you. See the humanity in all even if some choose not to see it in themselves.

In giving we must trust our heart that we are led on a path of betterment of not only the recipient, but of ourselves. We are the saviors of no one but ourselves. See yourself not as one’s savior but one’s companion for we are all discovering what it means to live, together.

Most of all, we must learn to trust that as long as we follow our heart that we will always be provided for and nourished. When the heart and soul are nourished, all worries fall aside. The world becomes a smaller place and the worries foremost in our minds become like specks of dust in the night sky. Nothing seems as important as it once was.

Practice giving and remember who you are and meant to be.

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A Moment Not Judged is a Moment Lived


There is no such thing as stability when it comes to one’s life path. It is simply trust, misplaced. We take comfort in the constructs that we create in life. We tell ourselves that if we go to school and become educated that we will have a good job when we’re finished. We tell ourselves that if we save our money that it will always be there for a rainy day. We tell ourselves that if we show loyalty to people that others will reciprocate. We tell ourselves all of these things in the hopes that it all might just come true.

We live our lives expecting a specific set of possible outcomes, but when those outcomes are different, it causes us confusion. It causes us to question our very existence. The person who sought to educate themselves is now faced with having to compete with others of a similar background for a single position. The person, who saved, is now faced with inflation that outpaces one’s savings. The person who was loyal is now faced with the realization that his loyalty meant nothing to the one he sought to impress.

Our lives are filled with similar examples of misplaced trust. When our expectations are not met, we blame others, and we blame ourselves. We become self-destructive when what we really need is to open our hearts and our minds to what truly exists, and to what truly matters.

We spend so much of our time contemplating the what-if moments, the possibilities, but we never ask ourselves, does it matter? Is the purpose of life to earn money? Is the purpose of life to try and learn every possible thing we can? Is the purpose of life to impress others? Perhaps it is none of these things. Perhaps it is simply to express oneself, to take joy in each moment, as it comes, regardless of how it we are perceived. A moment not judged, is a moment lived, and yet here we are judging ourselves each step of the way.

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Patchwork Heart


Patchwork HeartIf I trust what I see I am left to the visions that are shown to me. Whether it is my eyes or my mind’s eye, I am left to judge the truth of my perception.

If I am to trust what I hear, I am left to decide whether I have heard the voices of men, songs of birds, or the persistent wind that blows through my mind.

If I am to trust what I smell, I am left with my nose in the air as if to search out a scent, or an idea or an emotion so deeply tied to that which illicits my quandary.

If I trust what I feel, I am left to decipher the aches and pains of hardships past, or the real and sometimes forgotten suffering of those left silent.

Trust, I must. “Who?” or “What?” is the question. To my mind in silence I retreat. It tells me of stories heard, emotions felt and images seen. Filtered with today’s “truth” I see a world built for my mind. It entertains me. It convinces me of what I want. But what I want, I do not know. My mind tells me.

Can it write the play and be the actors? It tells me of impossibilities, when what I want are all the possibilities. It cannot fathom what it hides inside of itself. A shell worn thin, the truth peaks thru. The beating heart, it never withdrew. Love firm, a trust I know. Forgotten and neglected, if there is something to trust, may it be my heart, I know to be just.

photo credit: Wee Notions

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1/12th Floor


elevator signThere are no levels to understanding or to realization.
Together or alone, we move at a pace of our own choosing.

Forward or backward,
Somewhere we will meet.

In half steps or thirds,
Somewhere we will meet.

Full speed in reverse, or a slow climb,
Somewhere we will meet.

On land, or in the sea,
Somewhere we will meet.

I can’t swim.
I can’t float.
Jump into the boat.

I haven’t eaten.
There’s not enough.
Come along…

Because somewhere we will meet.

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Have a Little Faith in Me


Tai Chi

Have a little faith in me.
Have faith in me.

Allow me to become me.
Watch me.
Watch me become me.

Have a little faith in me.
Have faith in me.

See me grow.
See me become all the things you wanted me to be.
See me become me.

Have a little faith in me.
Have faith in me.

Let me stumble.
Let me cry.
Let me bleed.

Have a little faith in me.
Have faith in me.

It’s time to let go of my hand.
It’s time to let me walk this path.
Want to come walk with me?

Have a little faith in me.
Have faith in me.

 

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Caged Fear


We cannot live in fear. We cannot live with the anticipation of harm or retribution. We cannot live with the worry that something we say or do may not be taken well. What we can do is have faith that regardless of whether the path in front of us is lit or hidden in the shadows, that our feet will land on firm ground. We can trust that even among the chaos and despair that sometimes surrounds our lives, there will always be compassion. And though we not always be ready to see it or accept it when it is offered, like a gentle hand, lending support, it will be there.

There is no need to lock our fears in cages or to strike against those who would strike us first. There is no need to race to be first and no need to shout in order to be heard. Through accepting our fears, and through understanding how they drive us, we can learn to let them go. And by letting go of our fears, we can move past the roadblocks in our lives. We can see that our enemies are not really our enemies. They are like us, fearful of what is in front of them, and fearful of what awaits. But together, we can overcome our fears. We can overcome our differences. What once appeared as a scary beast, can be a comforting friend in a time of need.

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Lost in the Desert


Line of cars in the desert.Imagine a road that leads to a destination. There is long line of vehicles and they are moving slowly. You can only see the car in front of you. You can’t quite see the destination, but you have an idea where the road will end. Suddenly cars start to split off to form another column moving parallel to you. Every other car moves to form the new column. For a while all the cars are going in the same direction, until there is a fork in the road. The newly formed column takes one road and you and the others take another road. You start to ask yourself, which column should you be following, and how long do you follow. Do you stay as long as you feel comfortable and as long as there are others who keep you company, or do you decide to venture off? Who is to say the car in front of you knows the way? Could it be they were just following the car in front of them? What if there were many splits and newly formed columns, but you were only aware of what was happening in front of you? How do you find your way home?

Even more, what if the cars were individuals? What if the columns of cars were different beliefs? What if the road was life? What if the destination was God? What if it wasn’t God? Who or what are we to trust? Would you leave the answer to these questions in the hands of others, or do you decide? Perhaps we’ll never know the answer to any of these questions, but we can trust? We can choose to trust or we can follow blindly.

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All a Dream


I have seen a glimpse of my future, and yet it is not my future. I have seen a glimpse of my life and yet it is not my life. Is it a warning? Is it a test? Is it what is to become? All of these questions I have asked and yet none of them matter so much as, can I trust? Can I trust that what is planned for me is for the best? Can I trust that what is to come does not matter so much as how I choose to live, how we choose to live? The answers to these questions, I do not know. All that I do know is I can either trust, or I can wallow in vein. I can trust, or I can eat myself alive with a worry so punishing I will wish it were all a dream. And yet, it was – all a dream.

   

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