Reference Point

There is no reference point when “I” becomes “We”, and “We” becomes “I Am”. To be is simply to be, no external and no internal. There is no within and no without. There is no black or white, no shades of gray. There is no high or low, no in-between. There is no separation, nor thought of, nor model of such thought. I Am accepts. I Am loves. I Am. Simply, I Am.


It’s All Going Away

It’s all going away. From this place I live.
It’s all going away. Not the ones I love.
It’s all going away. To the deep down now I sink.
Above I climb, higher than before.
It’s all going away. The things I knew.
No matter.


A Forgiveness Forgotten

Forgiveness is sometimes misunderstood. It doesn’t mean bending over. It means letting go. Anger, hate, resentment, etc are all anchors. They anchor us to a time and an emotion and keep us from realizing our full potential which is limited by nothing and no one except our own expectations. These expectations include those of others and ourselves. Actions and thoughts are never forgotten. They are however meant to exist for that moment and that time. Our unwillingness to let go alone keeps us tied, not the individual nor the evil perpetrated by the person. Healing is a process of understanding, not forgetting.


Communion Through Prayer

When my oldest son was younger and even until now, whenever he was afraid of something I told him to pray. It was always something that gave me comfort when I was scared and growing up. For me I always recited the Lord’s Prayer.

On a few of these occasions my son asked me, “How do you pray?” I explained to him, “Prayer is like a conversation. Talk to God and ask Him to remove your fears. Ask Him to send his angels to protect over you and to watch you and guide you in all that you do.” He looked rather confused, wondering how he would hear God and how God would hear him, let alone angels.

So I said to him, “Talk to him just like you are talking to me. Except use this,” and I pointed to his heart. I said to him, “Listen to Him here, and speak to Him here.”

A lot of times we think we are alone. The sound of our own voices in our head can seem deafening. But when we quiet that down and we listen to that inner voice, that inner guidance, we are allowing God’s voice to be heard. It stands out from the chaos that is the world around us and the distractions that our mind’s bear.
When we pray we commune with God. We journey back. And in going back we bring God back to our consciousness, to the forefront.


Purposeful Consciousness

When trying to connect with God or the universe, we must not be afraid to lose our self. We must not be afraid to look at an existence where there are no labels, where “I” does not exist, and where “you” does not exist. When we look at the world around us we tend to define things by our experiences. We define things by our observations. We place meaning on everything. We describe things in color, or sound. We attach emotions and memories. We apply these labels because it’s easy. It’s what we are accustomed to.

Imagine a world where everything is new again. Imagine a word where there are no labels. Everyone is everyone. Everything is everything.


Closer to You

My experiences are my own. I would not trade one sleepless night.
My experiences are my own. They have led me to be who I am.
My experiences are my own. I could not imagine it any other way.
My experiences are my own. They have brought me closer to you.


Grasping Hand

You cannot grasp with your hands that which you do not understand. Like catching water with your fist, let it flow. Do not try to hold onto today. It is already tomorrow. Do not look to tomorrow. You are here.


If Your Heart Were Truly Open

During difficult times I am reminded of conversations with God and the devil. As strange as that may seem, the message from both are lessons I will never forget. Almost seven years ago, the day before Thanksgiving, a friend of mine who lived on the other side of the world woke up from a dead sleep and felt compelled to message me three words, “Divide and Conquer.” During that time period I had already begun writing, but it was fairly infrequent. But when I saw those words, it was different. I began writing and writing and I could not stop. I literally wrote for hours from almost 10am to 4:30pm that day. I only stopped because I needed to pick up my son from daycare.

On the way to day care, I prayed to God and I asked Him in my heart, “Why can’t I stop writing?” In that moment, I felt a peace come over me. I heard/felt the words, “If your heart were truly open, would you ever want it to stop?” As I felt those words something happened. I could literally feel every emotion of everyone. I could feel love, pain, anger, hate, happiness, all of it. I could feel all of it all at once as if each thought and emotion were in some ether floating around, waiting to be felt, waiting to be expressed. It was all there, but it was not overwhelming. It was as if they simply existed, all without judgment. There was no good or bad. They were just expressions, existence. There were just the words I associated with what I saw. Just as I could feel the peace and I tried to hold onto it, it disappeared. It was still there but as soon as I tried to attach my understanding, and my perception to it, it disappeared. From that day onward, I would continue to write.

Sometime after that I had another “conversation.” In a dream I had seen the devil. There was no fear, anger or hate. There was simply understanding. In a dark room I could see the outline of a door. As I opened the door, I could see a figure. A light seemingly coming from nowhere shown upon this figure. I recognized him to be the devil. It was as if he was frozen by the light. He was not able to move, except to speak. I asked him, “Why are you the way you are?” Not expecting any response, he answered me. He simply said, “I forgot who I was. I forgot where I came from.” I could see remorse, and sadness. His burden was to see and feel the fruit of the seeds he had sown. In him, I saw myself and mankind. We have forgotten who we are. We have forgotten the light, and the way. And in doing so, it was as if we turned our backs on God.

Upon waking from this dream, I was instantly reminded of my conversation with God. “If my heart were truly open, why would I ever want it to stop?” Why would anyone want to turn their back on God? I have looked back on these moments. I often ask myself could I have done something different to continue feeling that peace? What can I do to come to that state of mind? But in trying to grasp at what we think we know and by trying to label those things that we think we understand, we judge. We judge our experiences by those of others. We judge every aspect of life. We judge our grief, our pain, and our losses. We judge our love, our happiness, and our gains. We judge and we lose sight.


God’s Measuring Stick

We are not God’s measuring stick. Though we may feel it is our duty to spread what we deem to be God’s word, let not our egos drive us. Let us not assume the will of God for He shall light the spark and ignite the flame in our heart.

All too too often God is used as a weapon. We use God to divide rather than to bring together. Elohim. From many we are one. It is through this understanding that we shall find God.

In the ghettos, in the wicked, in the hearts of the devout, on mountain tops, in the desert, and in every being we shall find God. Each of us are the face of God. We are the innocent, the disenchanted, the lonely; we are all part of God.

We are each other’s keeper. When we close our eyes and walk away, or when we turn our heads and mutter words of disgust under our breath, it is not man whom we turn our backs to, but it is God’s. We are like two faces of the same hand. We are one in the same.


Leap of Faith

The danger with premonitions is that we can forget to live. Guidance is received in many ways and premonitions are just one of many. Guidance can come in the form of advice from a friend or a priest, or it can even come as a fleeting thought. The best guidance among them all is often the one we forget, the one that comes from our heart. If we live our life looking to confirm everything at every step, that’s not living, it’s trying to be right, but by whose standards? We are the ones who live with our decisions, positive or negative, and our decisions have an impact on the world around us. No matter how much we want to believe that our actions, thoughts and beliefs just affect us, we cannot fool anyone but ourselves. We affect each other, through our moods, words, action and inaction.

Though we may want that pat on the back every step of the way, sometimes we just have to put one foot in front of the other and take a leap of faith. Faith is not completely blind, when we follow our heart.

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